praise focuses on the child’s effort and is more of an intrinsic motivator. As your child completes his first fun run, staggering across the finish line near the end of the pack, offer praise such as, “I am proud of you for trying something new. You kept running even though you were tired.” Do not compare your child to others, which might be tempting at sporting events, as this could reduce motivation if your child is not “winning.” Instead focus on his or her personal journey. If your child is working on their science fair project, offer your support by praising the smaller steps along the way: “You wrote a very thoughtful hypothesis.” Even if your child makes mistakes and struggles to complete the project, praise their resilience to continue: “Nice job! You kept trying different ways to do your experiment even though it didn’t work the first couple of times!” PRAISE THE PROCESS, NOT THE PERSON. “You’re so creative!” “You easily scored that basket with your height.” These forms of praise fixate on children’s natural talents, which could lead to the avoidance of challenges. While natural abilities do help children to achieve certain feats, process-oriented praise, conversely, will lead to a mindset in which children are focused on growth and development. “Parents should praise children in situations where effort and achievement are involved,” says Loomis. “These situations help with the child’s learning and motivation. After a full day spent building an intricate Lego tower with a lift bridge at the entrance, tell your child, “Wow, you worked so hard putting all those pieces together and planning your building! You even found a creative way to build that bridge.” This descriptive, process-oriented 152 HAWAII PARENT September/October 2024 Remember to praise the smaller steps along the way. “Even if your child makes mistakes and struggles to complete the project, praise their resilience to continue.”
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