Rebellion Some children may rebel as a way of asserting their independence and showing that they want to be accepted for who they are, not who their parents expect them to be. In some cases, what appears to be defiance may instead be a child’s attempt to reclaim a sense of independence, pride, and dignity. Severe Burnout I personally remember burning out in high school from the pressure to earn academic awards to please my parents. It led to severe depression and made me question whether I should pursue a college degree, given the demanding workload. My parents never pressured me to earn the prestigious honor roll certificates. But the more they praised me for my a cademic achievements, the more I craved their approval. Low Self-Esteem Constant pressure to meet unrealistic expectations can erode a child’s self-esteem. When every mistake is viewed as a personal failing, children may enter adulthood believing that they are never good enough. Simple Ways to Embrace Failure and Build Resilience Redefine Failure Instead of focusing solely on the outcome, the perfect score, or the highest award, teach children to shift their focus to their genuine efforts. One of my second-grade students’ families started a new tradition of reframing failure as an opportunity to learn. When their expectations aren’t met, they view disappointment as a natural part of life. Normalizing Mistakes Through Open Dialogue Part of my family coaching sessions involves creating a safe space where children can openly share their feelings without fearing harsh judgment. 124 Hawaii Parent NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2026
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