120 Hawaii Parent May/June 2026 kinds of questions make room for honest answers. If your child tells you they are being bullied, start by listening. Let them talk. Stay as calm as you can. A child in distress needs to feel that you are steady and able to help. Tell them clearly that the bullying is not their fault. Do not tell them to ignore it, toughen up, or handle it alone. Even well-meaning comments like these can make a child feel more ashamed or unsupported. Parents should also watch for signs that something is wrong. Not every child will approach the parent and tell them that they are “being bullied.” Instead, you may notice school avoidance, changes in sleep or appetite, more tears, irritability, lost belongings, unexplained bruises, falling grades, physical complaints, or sudden withdrawal from friends and activities. Once you understand what is happening, help your child make a plan. Practice simple, calm statements they can use, such as “Stop,” “Leave me alone,” or “That’s not okay.” Role-playing can help children feel more prepared in stressful moments. Encourage them to move toward safe adults and supportive peers rather than staying alone in places where bullying tends to happen. Children should not be encouraged to fight back physically. The goal is safety and not escalation. It is also important to support your child’s confidence outside the bullying situation. Encourage activities that help them feel competent and connected, whether that is sports, music, art, clubs, church groups, volunteering, or time with trusted
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