82 Hawaii Parent March/April 2026 Sometimes parents share that their children do not open up or seem to have nothing to say, even when there is genuine interest in their lives. Children may be at a stage where they want more privacy and independence, or they may worry that opening up will lead to lectures or criticism. One effective way to support openness is to normalize casual, low-pressure conversation. This might look like chatting during meals or during pickup and drop-off in the car. Even a few minutes of quality conversation each day can allow the relationship to blossom organically over time. Resolving Conflicts Conflict is unavoidable in families, but it does not have to damage communication. During disagreements, it helps to focus on one issue at a time rather than bringing up past mistakes. Speaking respectfully, even when emotions are high, models the behavior parents want children to learn. Describing how you feel using what psychologists call “I statements” rather than blaming reduces defensiveness. It is also important to correct behavior without attacking the child. Once a conflict is resolved, allowing a clean slate helps children feel safe to try again. The Big Picture Effective communication takes practice. Children do not need parents to agree with every feeling or thought, but they do need their experiences to be empathized with and acknowledged. When children feel understood, communication is more likely to remain open. When they feel minimized or judged, they are far less likely to come back for more. Parents are bound to make mistakes, but when children experience their parents as genuinely attentive, respectful, and consistent, that is already the beginning of open, honest communication. About the author: Dr. Elsa Lee is a neuropsychologist and clinical director at Assets School. She oversees the Transforming Lives Center, which provides psychoeducational and neuropsychological evaluations for school-aged children in Hawaii.
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTcxMjMwNg==