132 HAWAII PARENT January/February 2026 make mistakes and to have a sense of humor. Saying something like, “I can’t believe I was so upset about being cut off in line. I should have just let it go,” demonstrates how to laugh it off and move on. These moments show resilience and emotional regulation in action. Use Reflective Questions to De-escalate Asking a simple question, such as, “Why are we arguing about this?” or “Will this matter a year from now?” shifts the conversation from emotion to perspective and may prevent an argument from escalating. Simple practical strategies, like letting a child choose the movie tonight and you pick next time, teach compromise and reduce power struggles. Some of the best lessons don’t come from lectures, but they start with laughter. thoughtfully rather than react emotionally. It is crucial, however, that laughter targets the situation, not the child. Laughing at a child risks shaming them and escalating conflict. Instead, shared laughter brings people together. Is the Humor Mutual? As a parent, pause to consider if you are joining in with your child or laughing at them. Shared humor, when we laugh together about a silly mistake, builds connection. Laughing at someone’s pain, fears, or vulnerabilities can be harmful and may even trigger a tantrum. Laughing together during a silly moment can bridge gaps and defuse fights. Learn to Laugh at Yourself Modeling humility and self-directed humor teaches children that it’s okay to “Humor and laughter are invaluable tools for reducing stress and worry.”
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