please everyone and instead focus on relationships that feel steady and respectful. One or two solid friendships often matter more than having a large circle. Adolescence and High School Years During adolescence, social dynamics shift again. Teens seek more independence and often turn to friends for support. They explore identity through shared interests, group membership, and online communities. They also face peer pressure and worry about acceptance. Mood shifts, withdrawal, or difficulty managing conflict are common and often reflect the intensity of this developmental stage. A steady and predictable relationship at home becomes essential. Teens open up more easily when they know they can ask questions or describe experiences without being judged or rushed. Many feel relieved when they can talk through a confusing interaction with an adult who listens first and responds real moments as they arise. When a child describes something that happened at school, parents can resist the instinct to give advice immediately. Allowing the child to describe what they noticed and how it made them feel helps them feel understood. Asking questions with curiosity helps the child sort out both their reactions and the other person’s experience. Middle schoolers also need reassurance that conflict is part of growing up. Instead of assuming a friendship is over, parents can help the child think through what happened and what each person wanted in the moment. It also helps to teach children that not every friendship will work out, and that this is normal rather than a sign that something is wrong with them. Some peers drift away as interests change. Others may not be a good fit because the dynamic leaves the child feeling tense or unsure. Naming this truth helps children release the pressure to 124 HAWAII PARENT January/February 2026 Strong, supportive friendships help middle schoolers build confidence and identity. “Some children navigate this easily, while others are unsure how to step into a group or keep a conversation going.”
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