150 HAWAII PARENT September/October 2025 Most parents have been there. Your child is crying on the floor because the toast is cut the “wrong” way, or your teenager slams a door after one too many reminders to study. Moments like these are frustrating, exhausting, and even confusing. Shouldn’t they be able to handle it by now? Emotional regulation, which refers to the ability to manage strong feelings in a healthy way, is something all children are learning. Some of them pick it up quickly, while others need more time and support. The way parents respond makes a real difference. What Emotional Regulation Means Regulation is about noticing and understanding emotions, while responding in a way that is appropriate for the situation. That doesn’t mean pushing feelings away, however. What it implies is that we have the necessary tools to calm down, express our thoughts and feelings clearly, and take action without causing harm to ourselves or others. As you could imagine, these steps can by Elsa Lee, Ph.D.
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