84 HAWAII PARENT March/April 2025 4. Reframe Perspectives. Rather than viewing tantrums as disruptions, see them as opportunities for growth and connection. Use distraction as a superpower: ask a silly question, play a favorite song, or engage them in movement. Changing the environment, like moving to another room, can also shift their mood—especially if they’re hopping or running. 5. Normalize Imperfection. See messy moments as opportunities to teach problem-solving and emotional regulation. Remember that challenges are temporary, and what matters most is showing love and trying again. Modeling imperfection teaches kids that being human is okay and helps foster a supportive, understanding family dynamic. In the middle of chaos, a simple, comforting phrase like, Follow these steps: • Inhale through your nose for 4 seconds. • Hold your breath for 4 seconds. • Exhale through your mouth for 4 seconds. • Hold your breath again for 4 seconds. Repeat this cycle 4-5 times to reduce stress, improve focus, and regain emotional balance. 3. Name it to Tame It. Name your emotions to reduce intensity. When parents name their emotions, they model emotional awareness for their children. Kids often learn how to identify and process feelings by watching their parents. If a parent says, “I feel frustrated right now,” instead of “You’re frustrating me!” the child learns that emotions are normal, can be labeled, and are manageable. This encourages emotional literacy, which is crucial for developing healthy emotional intelligence. Using the phrase “I am frustrated” instead of “You are frustrating me” can help deescalate tense moments with your child. “Rather than viewing tantrums as disruptions, see them as opportunities for growth and connection.”
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