120 HAWAII PARENT July/August 2025 They know you, just like you know them. They’re asking you to be the kind of parent who doesn’t confuse their immaturity with cruelty. One who owns and embodies a grounded, relational power. This is true leadership, legacy and love. They’ll tune into this channel, even if they pretend not to. Teaching teens emotional maturity starts with ours. Kirsten Cobabe is a parent coach, teen whisperer and steady voice in a loud world. With over two decades of experience working with families, she supports parents in raising teens who are self-sufficient and self-aware. Her work centers on attunement over assumptions, presence over performance and authentic connection over control. Her signature group offers ongoing support for parents ready to lead with clarity and critical thinking. Kirsten guides parents in evolving patterns, building trust at home and heart and raising resilient young people who are empowered, anchored and rooted in discernment. Learn more at kirstencobabe.com and parentingwave.com. show them how to slow down and reflect, not by telling, but by doing. This doesn’t mean you allow rude behavior. It means you meet it from a place of connection instead of control. In heated moments, everyone’s brain is flooded. What supports your relationship is your ability to stay present through it. Repair matters. You won’t always get it right. Neither will they. That’s okay. What matters is how you come back after the rupture. When things settle, circle back. Say what you meant to say. Own your part. You might try, “I didn’t love how I handled that earlier. I wish I had responded like…” This models humility, repair and emotional resilience— all skills your teen needs for adulthood. The goal isn’t blind obedience. It’s a relationship. It’s resilience. It’s responsibility. If you want to raise teens who follow, then eye rolls and backtalk might feel like failure, but if your hope is to raise emotionally aware, discerning humans— then these moments are golden opportunities and uncomfortable invitations to grow. Teens will push every button you have. They may push away at times, but teens still want to feel seen, heard, and loved, especially by you. “Eye rolls and backtalk might feel like failure, but these moments are golden opportunities and uncomfortable invitations to grow”
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