Parenting is not for the weak; it’s a wild adventure that takes guts, stamina and persistence. It’s a race that leaves you in an almost constant state of exhaustion that makes you question: the who, the why and the how of every dimension of your personality. This level of dedication – this show of love that we willingly and happily give to our children – quickly takes its toll on our need for adult nurturing and love and oftentimes leave us as parents, open to feelings of emptiness and guilt. It leaves us pouring from an empty cup. To combat this, it is essential to maintain a level of self-care throughout each and every day, and to make sure that YOU are a priority in addition to the little people you care for day in and day out. Making self-care a part of your parenting routine not only benefits you but also benefits your family. With just a few small changes, you can transform your interactions with your children and family, shift your own thoughts from negative to positive and improve the quality of your own happiness and expectations. STARTING SMALL We all get the feeling of “I don’t have time,” and every parent knows that that statement is not an exaggeration. However, self-care isn’t about whether there’s time; it’s about making it. Right away, start claiming 10-15 minutes a day for yourself. It won’t take away from your productivity, it won’t throw your day off; it will reset your mental output, calm your focus and believe it or not, will help increase how much you get done each day. Staking out your own mental territory will also make you feel happy, more at ease and proud that you finally got some “you time.” Use this purposeful break to connect with yourself and to pay attention to how you feel and to what you need. By engaging in a favorite hobby, writing a journal, walking, meditating, drawing or soaking in the tub – no matter the activity – this time is yours; allow yourself the basic luxury of TIME. by Jessica VanDyne November/December 2024 HAWAII PARENT 75
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