November/December 2024 HAWAII PARENT 3 Guide To Early Education on page 82. November/December 2024 Contents 8 Island Events & Family Fun 48 Postpartum Mood Disorders: More Than Just Depression Postpartum mood disorders, like anxiety and depression, affect many new mothers. Awareness, support, and professional help are essential. 66 Foods for a Healthy Pregnancy A healthy pregnancy diet includes whole, organic foods, avoiding refined sugars, unhealthy fats, and high-mercury fish, while ensuring essential nutrients. 82 Hawaii Parent Guide To Enrichment Activities & Lessons Prioritize family needs, your child's happiness, curriculum, classroom environment, staff qualifications, and student-teacher interactions when choosing. 128 Celebrating 75 Years of Faith and Excellence: The Legacy of Hawaii Baptist Academy Hawaii Baptist Academy celebrates 75 years of faith, education, expansion, and leadership, with continued dedication to Christian values and growth. 140 Choosing a Dreamy (and Safe) Crib When choosing a crib, prioritize safety certifications, adjustable heights, and crib size, while considering family needs and preferences. 150 The Ultimate Family Staycation Experience at Hilton Waikoloa Village Hilton Waikoloa Village offers a family-friendly staycation with stunning amenities, activities for kids, and relaxing accommodations for parents.
November/December 2024 HAWAII PARENT 5 Publisher: Charles Harrington • Assistant Publisher: Janis Harrington Production Director: Joel Lovingfoss • Managing Editor: Hannah Perriguey Contributing Writers: Stephanie Lopes, Karen K.C. Gibson, Anuhea Pizana, Jacob Aki, Gloria Buoncristiano-Thai, Jessica VanDyne, Erica Miles, Charlotte Edwards • Illustrations: Dennis Fujitake • Cover: Janna Behruz Next Issue: January/February: Child Behavior/Party Planning • Advertising Deadline: November 13 Phone: 808-728-3341 • 350 Ward Ave, Suite 106-304, Honolulu, HI 96814 publisher@hawaiiparent.media • www.HawaiiParentMedia.com Contents November/December 2024 38 Countdown to Preschool: Your Prep Toolkit To prepare for preschool, parents should seek support, develop coping strategies, communicate with schools, encourage independence, and establish routines. 56 Nurturing Emotional Intelligence: Insights from Child & Family Service To nurture emotional intelligence in children, parents should model healthy behaviors, encourage open communication, and involve schools and communities in emotional education initiatives. 74 Filling Your Cup: 5 Tips for Better Self-Care To prioritize self-care, parents should carve out daily time for themselves, let go of perfection, focus on nutrition, stay mindful, and embrace rest. 152 3 Tips to Make it Easier to Get the Kids to Bed To establish effective sleep schedules for children, ensure they get enough sleep, create a calming bedtime routine, and maintain consistency. Page 56 Page 152 Page 38 Page 74
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December 6-22 There’s a magical place where you can watch an original Christmas musical, take a picture with Santa, eat gingerbread cookies, drink “elf-made” hot chocolate, write a letter to Santa and mail it to the North Pole, play in a snow blizzard, and top it all off by roasting tasty s’mores - and it’s all tucked away in the little community of Kaimuki. Join us at Mamiya Theatre on the campus of St. Louis School for Mo’olelo Performance Art Studio’s 3rd Annual Christmas Spectacular event. Before and after the holiday musical performances, enjoy a free snow show with music, lights, and a snow blizzard! That’s right - twice a night, for a miraculous five minutes, the outdoor plaza turns into a winter wonderland! For more details, visit moolelostudios.com. 8 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Magical Christmas Spectacular with snow, Santa, and holiday fun at Mamiya Theatre! CHRISTMAS SPECTACULAR! PRESENTED BY MO’OLELO STUDIOS
10 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Kama’aina can enjoy touring Iolani Palace while immersing themselves in Hawaiian culture. NOVEMBER KAMA’AINA SUNDAYS AT IOLANI PALACE November 10 & December 8 Experience the vibrant celebration of Hawaiian culture at Kama’aina Sunday, a free event held on the second Sunday of every month at Iolani Palace, where families and friends come together to create lasting memories while learning about Hawaii’s rich traditions. Guests can explore the Palace, enjoy live entertainment, family-friendly activities, and sample delicious food from local eateries. Each event will be themed around a unique aspect of Hawaiian culture, ensuring a fresh experience every time. Attendees are encouraged to bring picnic blankets, chairs, and their aloha spirit. For more information, visit iolanipalace.org. WAIKIKI HOLIDAY PARADE November 29 The annual Waikiki Holiday Parade commemorates Pearl Harbor by honoring veterans in memory of the attacks from December 7, 1941. Local Hawaiian bands, marching bands from the mainland, Pearl Harbor survivors, military units, local officials, entertainers, and more will march down torch-lit Kalakaua Avenue along iconic Waikiki Beach. Held every year on the Friday following Thanksgiving Day, the Waikiki Holiday Parade hosts thousands of spectators, residents, and visitors alike, coming together to celebrate the spirit of aloha and remembrance. The event highlights Hawaii’s unique blend of cultural pride, historical reverence, and community unity, making it a truly unforgettable and moving experience for all who attend.
12 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Kapolei City Lights has been spreading holiday cheer since 2001. KAPOLEI CITY LIGHTS Opening Night: November 30 Kapolei City Lights officially begins with the Opening Night Block Party, showcasing plenty of live music, over two dozen food trucks, and loads of local vendors from 5 p.m. to 9 p.m. near Kapolei Hale. Along with the block party, opening night festivities will feature the luminous Holiday Parade, with dozens of decked-out vehicles, festive floats, and VIPs proudly displaying their holiday spirit and aloha. The celebration draws families and friends from across Oahu to enjoy the festive atmosphere together. Sponsored by the City and County of Honolulu Department of Parks and Recreation.
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14 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 HOLIDAY CRAFT FAIR AT HAWAIIAN MISSION HOUSES November 30 Get your holiday shopping completed ahead of time this year at the 53rd Annual Holiday Craft Fair, the longest-running craft fair in Honolulu, showcasing exclusively items created in Hawaii and the talented artisans who craft them. On the Saturday following Thanksgiving from 8:30 a.m. to 3 p.m., bring the entire family to Hawaiian Mission Houses Historic Site to enjoy the festivities and explore the grounds that encompass the oldest residential structures in Hawaii for distinct gifts and delightful family entertainment. With more than 40 local vendors, all products available are handcrafted in Hawaii: glass artwork, finely crafted jewelry, intricate pottery, beautifully carved woodwork, hand-painted silk scarves, professional photography, and much more! Visit missionhouses.org for details. Shop local this holiday season at the Hawaiian Mission Houses 53rd Annual Holiday Craft Fair.
16 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 (RAB) Winter Presentation. This free annual performance at the Na Lama Kukui Center Stage showcases RAB’s talented students, driven to perfect their skills and techniques throughout the year. Royal Academy of Ballet is the only Royal Academy of Dance (England) certified school in Hawaii! Please visit rabhawaii.com for more information. Join us at the Royal Academy of Ballet's free Winter Presentation on December 1st! Discover if your keiki may be interested in pursuing ballet. DECEMBER ROYAL ACADEMY OF BALLET’S WINTER PRESENTATION December 1 Support Hawaii’s dance community and see if your keiki may be interested in pursuing ballet at Royal Academy of Ballet’s
18 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 THE NUTCRACKER PRESENTED BY BALLET HAWAII December 14 & 15 Get your tickets now for Ballet Hawaii’s lavish Hawaiian-themed performance of “The Nutcracker” presented in the 1858 Kingdom of Hawaii. Held annually at the Neal Blaisdell Arena, this holiday production is expertly choreographed with guest artists from across the country and accompanied by members of the Hawaii Symphony Orchestra. Audiences can anticipate all the traditional holiday dances with the majesty and elegance of the Hawaiian monarchy. For more information and to purchase tickets, visit ballethawaii.org. Elaborate costumes and spectacular set design are the hallmarks of Ballet Hawaii’s modern rendition of “The Nutcracker”.
20 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Help make a difference and fundraise for Make-A-Wish Hawaii by registering for the Jingle Rock Run. JINGLE ROCK RUN AT KO OLINA RESORT December 15 Join Make-A-Wish Hawaii for their annual holiday fundraiser, Jingle Rock Run! This year’s community walk/run will be a 2.5-mile route at Ko Olina Resort. Show your holiday spirit by dressing in festive attire and show your support by creating a team of friends and family. Enjoy live entertainment along the route and at the festival grounds as you take in the sunset view from Ko Olina’s lagoons. Give the gift of a wish come true this holiday season! To register, visit Wish.org/Hawaii.
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22 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 HYOC’s annual seasonal concert features holiday favorites from around the world. HAWAII YOUTH OPERA CHORUS ANNUAL HOLIDAY CONCERT December (Date TBD) Support young talent in the community and get into the holiday spirit. The free performance will feature all chorus members in grades K-12 singing beloved holiday favorites from Hawaii and around the world. Enjoy beautiful festive music in a wonderful setting, while celebrating the remarkable achievements of these talented young artists. Bring your family and friends to share in this joyous occasion. Check their website for updates and more details at hyoc.org.
24 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Hawaii Magic Festival - December 28: Prepare to be amazed at the International Brotherhood of Magicians’ 10th Annual Hawaii Magic Festival! HAWAII MAGIC FESTIVAL December 28 Get ready to be amazed at the International Brotherhood of Magicians’ 10th Annual Hawaii Magic Festival, where mind-blowing illusions & enchanting performances will leave you spellbound! Featuring several acts and talented magicians at Kaimuki High School’s Performing Arts Center, the all-ages event dazzles with magic, prizes, comedy and audience participation. Find more information at HawaiiMagicFestival.com; tickets are available to purchase on Eventbrite.
Pearl Harbor Aviation Museum’s newest exhibition uncovers Walt Disney Studios’ valuable contributions to World War II. 26 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 ONGOING WALT DISNEY WWII EXHIBITION AT PEARL HARBOR AVIATION MUSEUM Now through December 31 The day after Pearl Harbor was attacked on December 7, 1941, Walt Disney opened almost his entire studio to support the war effort. View this collection and learn just how Disney illustrators helped win the war at the Walt Disney Studios and World War II Exhibition on display now through December at Pearl Harbor Aviation Museum. The exhibit is open every day from 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. and is included with a general admission ticket. For more information and to purchase tickets, visit pearlharboraviationmuseum.org. HAWAII DANCE BOMB Hawaii Dance Bomb, a community dance school focused on nurturing each child’s experience in a safe, playful and non-judgmental environment, offers seasonal dance classes, weekly themed events, silent disco parties, intercession camps and more. Children can practice wiggling, being themselves, laughing, making friends, figuring out their own movement style, and having fun. Go to hawaiidancebomb.com for more details. See you on the dance floor!
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Feb. 17. Winter day camps: Dec. 23, 26, 27, 30, and 31, and Jan. 2, 3 and 6. Contact dana@thhwaimanalo.org to sign up today. For more information, visit thhwaimanalo.org. SWEET LAND FARM NOW OPEN ON THURSDAYS Nestled on Oahu’s north shore is the island’s only certified commercial goat dairy farm and the most adorable place you’ll ever visit. Sweet Land Farm’s mission is to educate our youth about the farm and the importance of agriculture to our island. With no farm entrance free, they are now open to the public on Thursdays, Fridays, and Saturdays from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Sign up for a tour at the farm store, where you can also find delicious homemade goat cheese, cheesecake and other goodies. Visitors leave the tours stimulated by the experience and captivated by the friendly goats. For more information, visit sweetlandfarmhawaii.com. 28 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 WINTER HORSE CAMPS AT THERAPEUTIC HORSEMANSHIP OF HAWAII Therapeutic Horsemanship of Hawaii (THH) is offering Horse Camps for children ages 7-12 at their Waimanalo facility during the holiday break. Campers will ride the horses in the morning and the afternoon will be spent on horsemanship training and other fun activities. Riders of all skill levels are welcome. Intercession day camps: Nov. 11, Nov. 29, Jan. 20, and Bring the family to Sweet Land Farm to meet their friendly goats! THH offers fun, safe and low-stress riding lessons at its beautiful facility in Waimanalo.
30 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 MONTHLY FAMILY FUN NIGHT AT HAWAII ACADEMY Honolulu Gym: First Fridays Pearl Harbor Gym: Second & Fourth Saturdays Need a night off? Hawaii Academy opens its doors so keiki (and participants of all ages) can immerse into gymnastics Hawaii Academy’s monthly family fun night where keiki immerse into gymnastics and fun. or general fitness activities while parents spend quality time alone. For $10/hour, ages 6 and up can revel in a safe and inspirational atmosphere at the Honolulu Gym (808-842-5642) from 8-10pm (First Fridays) and at the Pearl Harbor Gym (808-422-2223) from 5-8pm (Second and Fourth Saturdays). For more information, visit HawaiiAcademy.com.
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32 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Storybook Station’s newest location now open at Pearlridge Center. Your little ones can transform into fairies, pirates, mermaids, dragons and more, by getting a detailed fantasy makeover performed by one of Storybook’s fantasy stylists. Storybook Station is Oahu’s trusted source for all your party entertainment needs. Go to storybookstationhawaii.com to learn more and book today. UPCOMING K-12 PARENT AND SCHOOL EXPO HOSTED BY HAWAII KIDS CAN January 25, 2025 Hawaii is home to impactful and diverse schools and education organizations, but parents often struggle to find the best options for their children. As part of National School Choice Week 2025, the Inaugural Hawaii K-12 Parent and School Expo is designed to help families make firsthand connections with each other and local learning partners. This is an exciting opportunity for schools and organizations to showcase their unique contributions to Hawaii’s education ecosystem. The event will be held at Windward Mall. For more information, visit hawaiikidscan.org. NEW STORYBOOK STATION NOW OPEN AT PEARLRIDGE CENTER Step into a world of imagination and beautiful handcrafted surroundings at Book an appointment with one of Storybook’s character stylists at their newest location.
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34 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 PRESCHOOL OPEN DOORS Apply by January 31, 2025 PATCH Hawaii is a free resource hub for families, child care professionals and communities of Hawaii. Their mission is to support and improve the quality and availability of care for the young people of Hawaii through programs such as Preschool Open Doors, which provides monthly preschool tuition subsidies to qualified families. For more information on Preschool Open Doors, contact PATCH Hawaii, which partners with the Hawaii Department of Human Services to provide the program, at patchhawaii.org. Apply now for PATCH Hawaii’s Preschool Open Doors program, which offers child care subsidies to eligible families. KEIKI GREAT ALOHA RUN February 8, 2025 The camaraderie and festive fun found at the annual Keiki Great Aloha Run are reasons enough for families to sign up. The fun run starts at 7:30 a.m. at Ala Moana Regional Park. Participants can join in activities and obstacle courses at the park following the race. Hawaii’s premier run for kids is part of the Great Aloha Run, which is scheduled on Monday, February 17, 2025. This 8.15-mile foot race kicks off at 7 a.m. at Aloha Tower and finishes at Aloha Stadium. The deadline to register is January 29, 2025. Over the years, the fun run has raised more than $150,000 for local elementary schools. Learn more and sign up today at greataloharun.com. Lace up for an energizing day of fun and fitness! Registration is open for Hawaii Pacific Health’s Great Aloha Run.
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If your child is about to take their first academic steps, sending them off to preschool can feel overwhelming and stressful. You might worry about whether they’ll adapt and thrive in their new environment, as well as their physical and emotional safety. Letting go and trusting in their journey can be daunting, but experienced parents have valuable tips for preparing for this new chapter. What strategies help preschool parents cope with their child’s first academic steps? 1. Seek Support: Talk to trusted individuals or therapists to relieve stress and validate your feelings. If anxiety becomes overwhelming, consult a behavioral or mental health professional for guidance and possible medication options. Parent and family coaches offer personalized guidance and support in managing the unique challenges of early childhood. This includes tailored strategies for effective parenting, enhancing child development, and improving family dynamics. 2. Develop Coping Strategies: Engage in self-care and stress management practices for a healthier lifestyle. Children can learn how to manage their emotions, handle stress, and develop resilience if they understand simple coping strategies, such as counting slowly to ten, taking deep breaths, and describing their feelings. When emotions have time to catch up to the rational brain, there is an increased chance to make better decisions, leading to a stronger mindset and healthier life choices. 3. Communicate with the School: Maintain regular contact with your child’s school and teachers to stay informed and address by Karen K.C. Gibson November/December 2024 HAWAII PARENT 39
any issues. Create a communication notebook to make it easier for your child’s teacher to send notes and provide feedback on a consistent basis. Engage in brief drop off and pickup conversations, asking about any concerns or fun highlights of your child’s day. 4. Schedule a Personal Tour: Offer your child an opportunity to feel comfortable getting to know the teacher. Seeing the bathrooms/playgrounds/classrooms and knowing what to expect before the first day of school will alleviate some fears. Part of the worries result from the negative “what if” scenarios of new people, new environments and new responsibilities. 5. Practice Social Skills: Arrange playdates with other children to help your child learn to share, take turns, and play cooperatively. Role playing scenarios which include asking questions, giving compliments and story time sharing offer fun opportunities to practice communication skills. 6. Encourage Independence: Give your child opportunities to make choices, like picking out their clothes or selecting a snack. Guide your child in basic self-care routines like brushing their teeth, washing their hands, and dressing themselves. Start with easy tasks and gradually increase the complexity as they gain confidence. This boosts their confidence and decision-making skills. 7. Introduce Learning Activities: Engage in simple learning activities like counting objects, identifying colors, letters and naming shapes to stimulate their cognitive development. Teach basic skills like recognizing their name, holding a pencil, and following simple instructions. Make the learning process fun by using watercol40 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Seeing the school’s environment and knowing what to expect before the first day of school will alleviate some fears. “Children can learn how to manage their emotions, handle stress, and develop resilience if they understand simple coping strategies.”
42 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 By establishing and maintaining a consistent daily schedule, you can help your child feel secure and prepared for their preschool day. or paints, crayons, and craft supplies. Create engaging activities where children can practice writing their full name, address, and phone number on colorful sheets of paper or decorate memory cards with their birthday details. 8. Teach Crucial Personal Information: It helps children prepare for safety and develop a sense of responsibility by teaching them important personal information. Learning their full name, parents’ phone numbers, their birthday, and their address can foster independence and ensure they feel more secure in various situations. This knowledge is crucial in emergency preparedness, as it enables children to communicate essential information to trusted adults if needed. 9. Talk About Feelings: Discuss the importance of expressing emotions with your child. Let them know it’s okay to feel excited, scared, or sad about starting something new. Build your child’s confidence by answering questions regarding preschool fears. Share your excitement and the potential fun activities, like making new friends and playing games. Recognize when anxiety arises to apply coping techniques and understand how to respond effectively. Deep breathing, gentle stretching, and recognizing that their fearful thoughts are not real can all help preschoolers relax and feel more at ease. 10. Establish a Routine: Establish a consistent daily schedule with set times for meals, play, and sleep to help your child adjust to the structure of a preschool day. Review this schedule regularly and post it in their room and the kitchen so they can become familiar with their new routine. “Engage in simple learning activities like counting objects, identifying colors, letters and naming shapes to stimulate their cognitive development.”
Karen K.C. Gibson, a mother and family/parent coach, founded “Letting Go with Aloha” in 2020 and recorded 100 parenting tips during the pandemic, leading to her book “One Hundred Parenting Tips Inspired by the Pandemic.” She also authored “Mama’s Gotta Let Go: How to Let Go without Losing Your Sanity,” providing parents guidance on peaceful parenting. Since 1999, she has offered private tutoring through her company, Brain Builders, and coauthored “The Power to Rise Above,” a collection of personal stories from 29 women worldwide. Learn more by visiting her websites: karenthebrainbuilder.com and LettingGowithAloha.com. 44 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 ease the transition for both you and your child. Trust in the process, and practice patience as your little one begins to navigate their new environment. With time and support, they’ll likely flourish and build confidence that will carry them through their academic journey. As you prepare for this new chapter, remember that it’s normal to feel a mix of excitement and anxiety. By taking proactive steps - such as visiting the preschool, discussing routines with your child, and fostering a positive outlook - you can help Highlight the exciting and social aspects of preschool, such as making new friends, playing games, and having fun. “Build your child’s confidence by answering questions regarding preschool fears.”
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When my daughter was born, I was aware of postpartum depression and found myself on the lookout for symptoms. With a personal and family history of mood disorders, I was practically waiting for that feeling of hopelessness and almost expecting difficulty in bonding with my baby. My Unexpected Experience with Postpartum Anxiety What I wasn’t prepared for was the gripping anxiety and fear that made leaving the house difficult, images of horrific accidents playing in my mind and an inability to calm down if any little thing happened (a rash, cough, dip in feedings or diapering). I had postpartum anxiety and wasn’t prepared at all. Understanding Postpartum Mood Disorders: More Than Just Depression Postpartum anxiety is only one of several mood disorders that may occur after giving birth. As many as 1 in 5 women experience by Anuhea Pizana November/December 2024 HAWAII PARENT 49 “As many as 1 in 5 women experience some sort of postpartum mood disorder.”
pregnancy. Celebrities like Gwyneth Paltrow, Adele and Serena Williams have been raising awareness on their personal experiences with postpartum mood disorders, normalizing them and helping to remove stigma. Is It Normal Worry or a Postpartum Mood Disorder? You may not even realize you have it. Maybe you’re thinking, “Is this normal motherhood worry or something more?” Postpartum mood disorders can feel most drastic to a firsttime mom who has no benchmark on how she should be feeling and who questions every little parenting decision she makes. She may be feeling pressure to do everything right. Avoid the Internet Trap: Seek Professional Help Instead Try to refrain from searching for some sort of Postpartum Mood Disorder beyond the expected emotional fluctuations referred to as “baby blues” (lasting around two weeks). Among these disorders are postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety, postpartum OCD, postpartum PTSD and even postpartum psychosis. The Role of Hormonal Changes in Postpartum Mood Disorders These mood fluctuations result from the drastic neurobiological changes and hormones from giving birth and breastfeeding as your brain adjusts to help meet your new baby’s needs. Celebrities Bringing Awareness to Postpartum Mental Health Postpartum mood disorders are slowly coming to light as larger media platforms have helped to make this a hot topic for 50 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Postpartum mood disorders can feel most drastic to first-time moms. “Postpartum anxiety is only one of several mood disorders that can happen after giving birth.”
52 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 to balance your mood and will allow you to experience the sweet moments of motherhood by lifting any curtain of worry and pain. Reach out to friends and family for verbal encouragement and assistance with your new baby. Hearing that you’re doing the right things as a mom can be both uplifting and reassuring. Support Systems: Lean on Family, Friends, and Your Partner What helped me the most when I was feeling alone and overwhelmed was to talk with other mom friends on the phone, and to have family and friends come to my home for spending time and chatting. Explain your emotions and what you’re thinking/feeling to your partner so they will be aware of how to support you during this difficult time. I also joined a mommyand-me group that I could look forward to each week–a forum for sharing struggles and health concerns. answers on social media and the Internet. This may actually intensify your symptoms. Coming across tragic stories will simply make your situation worse. Rely on a physician instead of Google. Recognizing the Symptoms: When to Seek Help Among the symptoms are trouble bonding with your baby, inability to get out of bed, excessive worrying, anger/irritability, gripping fear, panic attacks, extreme loneliness and hopelessness, questioning if you should have actually become a mother, or thoughts of harming yourself or your baby. Medication and Therapy: Lifting the Curtain of Worry If this seems somewhat familiar, request a screening by your OB or pediatrician. Make an appointment with a psychologist to discuss how you’re feeling. Don’t be afraid to ask about medication. It may help “Maybe you’re thinking, is this normal or something more?” It’s hard to know what’s normal if you’re a new mom.
in caring for their baby. Be sensitive to emotions and needs. The best thing you can do is to be there for them and tend to them, especially since most people overlook the mom and just focus on the baby. If you’re facing a difficult time, know that you’re not alone. Be assured that this too, will pass. I noticed that with time, I was able to feel more like myself, gain confidence and trust my choices as a mother. I also was able to know my baby better and understand what was normal for her. Ultimately, my hormones adjusted and I mellowed out. I still have moments when I feel a flicker of the panic start to arise–typically when a minor health issue comes up. I take a breath, try to calm down, remind myself that this is not the end of the world and realize that my baby will be fine tomorrow. Always remember that you’re stronger and more capable than you realize. Don’t Forget: This Is Not Your Fault Again, it’s important to remember that this isn’t your fault. It’s due to chemical and hormonal changes and imbalances in your brain. By no means does this make you an unfit mother. How to Help a New Mom Struggling with Postpartum Issues On the flip side, don’t be afraid to reach out to a family member or friend who is a new mom. All new moms need help with housework or even the little one. Drop by with food and a listening ear. Offer to help with laundry, dishwashing, or other light cleaning. You’re Stronger Than You Think: Overcoming Postpartum Challenges A mother with postpartum anxiety may not feel comfortable with someone else watching her child (I had a hard time relaxing if my daughter was with someone else). New moms may find comfort in relying on those they know for assistance 54 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 “It’s due to chemical and hormonal changes and imbalances in your brain.” If you suspect that you or a loved one is experiencing postpartum depression, the first step is to reach out and seek help.
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November/December 2024 HAWAII PARENT 57 Parenting is one of life’s most rewarding experiences, but it comes with its fair share of challenges. From sleepless nights to supermarket tantrums, raising children can often feel like navigating uncharted waters. While there’s no manual for parenting, there are resources available to help guide Hawaii parents as they do their best to raise healthy, happy, resilient keiki. One such resource is the Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at Child & Family Service, where licensed clinicians like Casey L. Tau’a, LMFT, ASDCS, ADHD-CCSP work diligently to nurture emotional intelligence (EI) among children. In this article, we explore the crucial role of EI, how parents model and teach these skills at home, and the importance of extending EI education into schools and the broader community. by Jacob Aki
of their actions and reactions because, “our kids are always watching.” For instance, when a parent remains calm during a stressful situation, it teaches the child that it is possible to manage emotions constructively. Conversely, if a parent reacts with anger or frustration, the child may learn to respond similarly when faced with challenges. “It’s about being a consistent example of good behavior and emotional management,” Tau’a notes. “Children mimic what they see, so as challenging as it might be for us as parents, it’s crucial that we exhibit the emotional intelligence we wish to instill in our children.” Extending Emotional Intelligence Education Beyond the Home While the home is a critical environment for developing EI, Tau’a believes that schools and the broader community The Role of Parents in Nurturing Emotional Intelligence According to Casey Tau’a, children learn about emotions primarily by observing how their parents behave and react to various situations. “Parents are the first role models for their children,” Tau’a explains. “The way we handle our emotions, respond to stress, and interact with others sets the stage for how our children will learn to manage their own emotions.” Parents heavily influence their children’s behavior, and this influence extends to emotional management. When parents model healthy emotional behaviors, such as expressing feelings appropriately, demonstrating empathy, and resolving conflicts peacefully, children are more likely to adopt these behaviors. Tau’a emphasizes that parents need to be mindful 58 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Remaining calm during stressful situations shows your child that it is possible to constructively manage emotions. “Parents heavily influence their children’s behavior, and this influence extends to emotional management.”
Moreover, Tau’a suggests community programs and initiatives, such as workshops and seminars tailored to parents and children, are beneficial and further reinforce the importance of EI. “Community centers, libraries, and local organizations host events that focus on emotional intelligence,” she says. “These events provide parents with the tools they need to nurture EI at home and offer children additional opportunities to practice these skills in a social setting.” Methods for Parents to Help Their Children Regulate Emotional Intelligence Casey Tau’a highlights several practical methods that parents can use to help their children – and themselves – regulate emotional intelligence effectively: also play essential roles. “Emotional intelligence should be a part of the curriculum in schools,” she says. “Teaching children about emotions, empathy, and healthy ways to express themselves significantly impacts their ability to succeed academically and socially.” Integrating EI education into school programs helps children develop stronger relationships with their peers, improve their problem-solving skills, and enhance their overall academic performance. Schools could incorporate activities that promote emotional awareness, such as role-playing, group discussions, and mindfulness exercises. These activities help children recognize and understand their emotions and those of others, fostering a more empathetic and supportive school environment. 60 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Emotional awareness activities help children recognize and understand their emotions and those of others. “These activities help children recognize and understand their emotions and those of others.”
mindfulness exercises into daily routines. Simple activities like deep breathing, meditation, or yoga helps children become more aware of their emotions and develop better self-regulation. Empathy Development: Encourage children to consider how others might feel in different situations. Discussing stories, watching movies, or playing games that involve perspectivetaking enhances their empathy skills. Positive Reinforcement: Recognize and praise children when they demonstrate healthy emotional behaviors. Positive reinforcement motivates them to continue practicing good EI skills. Modeling Healthy Emotional Behaviors: Children learn by observing their parents. Demonstrating healthy ways to express emotions, manage stress, and resolve conflicts to teach children valuable EI skills. Open Communication: Encourage children to talk about their feelings and listen to them without judgment. Create a safe space where they feel comfortable sharing their emotions. Emotion Coaching: Help children understand their emotions by naming them and discussing appropriate ways to express them. For example, if a child is angry, acknowledge their feeling and suggest ways to manage it, like taking deep breaths or counting to ten. Mindfulness Practices: Incorporate 62 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Simple practices like making eye contact, using kind words, and offering support to friends in distress can be emphasized both at home and in school. “Nurturing emotional intelligence is a vital task that requires the combined efforts of parents, schools, and the broader community.”
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By incorporating these methods into their daily lives, parents can help their children develop strong emotional intelligence, which will benefit them throughout their lives. Nurturing emotional intelligence is a vital task that requires the combined efforts of parents, schools, and the broader community. As Tau’a emphasizes, parents play a pivotal role by modeling healthy emotional behaviors and creating an environment where children learn and practice EI. Additionally, integrating EI education into school curricula and community programs further support children’s emotional growth. Increasing education on the importance of mental health is crucial to ensuring that parents and caregivers have the resources and knowledge needed to foster EI effectively. By working together, we can help children develop the emotional intelligence they need to navigate life’s challenges successfully and build a healthier, brighter future for all. 64 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 About The Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at Child & Family Service The Steven A. Cohen Military Family Clinic at Child & Family Service offers quality behavioral health services to active-duty service members, guard/reserves, veterans and their families. For information and assistance, call 808-204-4020 and CohenClinic@cfs-hawaii.org. Visit our website at www.childandfamilyservice.org/cohenclinic.
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November/December 2024 HAWAII PARENT 67 A healthy pregnancy starts with a healthy diet. A whole foods diet choosing foods in as close to their natural form as possible is best. Avoid foods high in refined sugar, unhealthy fats, and sodium. If possible, organic and non-GMO foods should make up the bulk. If you are not already eating organic foods, pregnancy is an excellent time to make the switch. By going organic, you will avoid exposing yourself as well as your unborn baby to antibiotics, artificial hormones, and pesticides. The American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) recommends a healthy diet pre-conception. Specific vitamins and minerals are critical for a baby’s development in utero and which many women may be deficient, such as folate. Folate (folic acid) is a B vitamin (B9) that is especially important for pregnant women. ACOG states that preconception and during pregnancy, a woman needs a minimum of 400 micrograms of folic acid daily to help prevent major birth defects, such as spina bifida. Current recommendations are that pregnant women get at least 600 micrograms of folic acid daily. Folic acid has been added to processed foods since the late 1990s and is in most multivitamin formulations. It is important to note that folic acid is the synthetic form of folate, and as such, the body needs to convert it first (to 5MTHF) to utilize it. This is problematic for those having a Methylenetetrahydrofolate reductase (MTHFR) gene mutation. This mutation can limit or inhibit a person’s ability to convert folic acid to the form needed by the human body. Fortunately, folate can be found naturally in dark leafy greens and is now available in supplement form. EATING FOR TWO According to Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies Coalition of Hawaii, most pregnant women need approximately 350 extra calories per day. The exact number of calories a pregnant woman needs depends on how much she weighed before becoming pregnant. She should discuss with her health care provider to determine how many extra calories are required. by Gloria Buoncristiano-Thai
niacin, potassium, phosphorus, zinc, and omega-3 fatty acids, which are crucial for healthy brain and eye development. • Lean Meats: Source of protein, iron, and B vitamins. Vitamin B6 helps with baby’s tissue and brain growth. Vitamin B-12 health maintains healthy nerves and red blood cells. • Orange Juice: Source of potassium, which helps keeps muscle function, metabolism, and overall health in check. Vitamin C aids in the absorption of iron. Vitamin D increases blood circulation in the placenta, helps with calcium absorption. • Eggs: Source of protein, folate, iron, and choline, which is critical to fetal brain development and reduces the risk of neural tube defects. • Yogurt: Source of calcium and other 10 FOODS TO EAT DURING PREGNANCY (FROM HAWAII PACIFIC HEALTH) • Sweet Potatoes: Source of nutritious fiber, potassium, vitamin C, iron, copper, and beta-carotene, which the body converts to vitamin A. Also rich in carbohydrates and Vitamin B6. • Dark Leafy Greens: Source of calcium, potassium, fiber, and folate and vitamin A, which plays a role in eyesight development, bone and skin growth. • Nuts: Source of healthy fats, brain boosting omega-3s, fiber, and magnesium which aids in the development of baby’s nervous system. • Raspberries: High in fiber, vitamin C, and K and manganese. • Salmon: Rich in healthy mono and polyunsaturated fatty acids, vitamin B-12, “By going organic, you will avoid exposing yourself as well as your unborn baby to antibiotics, artificial hormones, and pesticides.” 68 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Talk to your health care provider to see how many extra calories you should be consuming while pregnant.
shark, king mackerel, swordfish, tilefish • Alcoholic drinks • Limit albacore tuna to six ounces per week • Limit caffeine intake to 200 mg per day: Caffeine can cross the placenta and affect baby’s heart rate. Some studies show that consuming too much caffeine during pregnancy might be associated with an increased risk of miscarriage. Why avoid raw or undercooked or unpasteurized foods? These foods can contain bacteria that can cause listeriosis. Becoming sick from listeriosis while pregnant can cause miscarriage, still-birth, and premature labor and delivery. Back to organic foods. What if you cannot afford an all-organic diet? This does not have to be an all or nothing scenario. essential bone-building nutrients, including protein, B vitamins, and zinc, which helps baby’s bone and teeth development. • Beans and Lentils: Can be an excellent option for vegans and vegetarians. They are rich in zinc, which is an essential mineral that can help lower the risk of preterm delivery, low birth weight, and prolonged labor. Foods to Avoid During Pregnancy (From Healthy Mothers Healthy Babies Coalition of Hawaii) • Raw sprouts • Raw/unpasteurized milk, cheese, and juice • Raw or undercooked animal foods (such as seafood, meat, poultry, and eggs) or deli meats • Fish with high levels of mercury: “…most pregnant women need approximately 350 extra calories per day.” 70 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 While there are certain foods that should be avoided while pregnant, organic fresh fruits and thoroughly washed and cooked vegetables are always great options.
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1. Avocados 2. Sweet Corn* 3. Pineapple 4. Onions 5. Papayas* 6. Sweet Peas Frozen 7. Asparagus 8. Honeydew Melons 9. Kiwis 10. Cabbages 11. Mushrooms 12. Mangoes 13. Sweet Potatoes 14. Watermelon 15. Carrots See more on EWG.org the organic. Other options are to grow your garden. Plant a few things in pots or get a plot at one of the community gardens. Get to know your farmer at the farmer’s markets. Some farmers may be using organic methods but are not certified as the certification process takes years and is expensive. A healthy pregnancy begins with a healthy diet. You owe it to yourself and the life you are growing. Each year the Environmental Working Group (EWG) releases two lists to help consumers. Some conventionally grown foods have minimal pesticide residue, so it is not necessary to buy them organic. This is what the EWG calls the “Clean Fifteen.” On the other side are the foods laden with pesticide residue. According to the EWG, these are the “Dirty Dozen.” When it comes to the dirty dozen, opt for “Raw (undercooked or unpasteurized) foods can contain bacteria that can cause listeriosis.” 72 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 Hearty foods like oatmeal are rich in calcium, vitamin D and iron, three crucial nutrients needed for a healthy pregnancy. EWG’s Clean Fifteen 2024 List: *A small amount of sweet corn and papaya sold in the United States is produced from genetically modified seeds. Buy organic varieties of these crops if you want to avoid genetically modified produce.
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Parenting is not for the weak; it’s a wild adventure that takes guts, stamina and persistence. It’s a race that leaves you in an almost constant state of exhaustion that makes you question: the who, the why and the how of every dimension of your personality. This level of dedication – this show of love that we willingly and happily give to our children – quickly takes its toll on our need for adult nurturing and love and oftentimes leave us as parents, open to feelings of emptiness and guilt. It leaves us pouring from an empty cup. To combat this, it is essential to maintain a level of self-care throughout each and every day, and to make sure that YOU are a priority in addition to the little people you care for day in and day out. Making self-care a part of your parenting routine not only benefits you but also benefits your family. With just a few small changes, you can transform your interactions with your children and family, shift your own thoughts from negative to positive and improve the quality of your own happiness and expectations. STARTING SMALL We all get the feeling of “I don’t have time,” and every parent knows that that statement is not an exaggeration. However, self-care isn’t about whether there’s time; it’s about making it. Right away, start claiming 10-15 minutes a day for yourself. It won’t take away from your productivity, it won’t throw your day off; it will reset your mental output, calm your focus and believe it or not, will help increase how much you get done each day. Staking out your own mental territory will also make you feel happy, more at ease and proud that you finally got some “you time.” Use this purposeful break to connect with yourself and to pay attention to how you feel and to what you need. By engaging in a favorite hobby, writing a journal, walking, meditating, drawing or soaking in the tub – no matter the activity – this time is yours; allow yourself the basic luxury of TIME. by Jessica VanDyne November/December 2024 HAWAII PARENT 75
76 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 LET IT GO Tell yourself throughout your moments of calm and struggle… that you’re doing your best. Remind yourself gently that you cannot do it all and that’s OK. Write these words down, place them where you can see them and remind yourself of them frequently. When you decide to let something go in a moment or for a length of time, Do it. Do not question your decision or allow guilt for the lack of completion. Instead, add it to your mental list of “complete self-care items.” Just because it wasn’t yet completed in its entirety, doesn’t mean it didn’t fulfill a purpose in not getting done. Selfcare and letting go should be a part of your daily purpose. We all get the feeling of “I don’t have time”. MAKING THE CUT Practice focusing on doing one thing at a time. Giving yourself and your family the gift of mindfulness in each activity, you’ll find more joy and focus even in the most mundane of tasks. Remember, sometimes, expecting perfection is a hindrance to productivity. You won’t always get it perfect, but that’s okay and what makes daily life the adventure that it is. Let it be messy and create purpose in that space. Not everything will be done exactly how you’d like, but it will be done. Calmly remind yourself in those moments, that it’s really OK to stay present in one thing at a time, to slow down and to let it be messy. “No matter the activity, this time is yours; allow yourself the basic luxury of TIME.”
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78 HAWAII PARENT November/December 2024 It will, believe it or not, increase how much you get done each day. WHAT GOES OUT, MUST GO IN One of the biggest things that parents forget to do is to care for themselves physically. Maintaining a healthy diet as well as keeping yourself hydrated makes all the difference in our attitude and opinions of each day. Don’t skip breakfast to save time, carry a water bottle with you throughout your busy agenda, have a preconceived plan for lunch. One of the biggest parts of self-care is consciously choosing what goes into your body. If you work for it, it will work for you and denying yourself basic health needs will only add to your stress, exhaustion and desire for satiation. Also included in this category is something we all need more of… SLEEP. Don’t neglect or underestimate the effect that a lack of sleep will have on your ability to perform any and all tasks. Rest well, rest often and make sure that your sleep schedule is a priority. DON’T GIVE UP Making selfcare a part of your parenting routine not only benefits you but also benefits your family. With just a few small steps and added changes – making yourself feel a part of something bigger and feeling loved by yourself and others around you – you can fill your cup each day, ensuring that there is enough of you to fulfill the others who need you most. “Making self-care a priority not only benefits you but also benefits your family.”
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The time has come to choose an education center for your child, and if you’re like most parents, you’re feeling the pressure and wondering where do you begin? Every parent wants to be confident in deciding on the best program, but there are so many considerations to take into account when interviewing and choosing a school that it can feel overwhelming. Choosing a school for your child doesn’t have to be a daunting task. In fact, the choice can be broken down to two essential components – being informed and being prepared. The best place to start is with what you know best: your own family’s needs and most importantly, your child. KNOW YOUR NEEDS For many families, preschool is an essential part of life and allows us to work while our young children are well and cared for. First things first, break down the process by thinking about how each school will fit into your daily life. Learn the basics of each program: location, hours, tuition costs. Ask yourself if it’s important for the preschool to be near your home and your work. What are their hours and does this work with both yours and your child’s schedules? What is included in tuition costs and is this fee reasonable with your budget and expectation? Prepare for any upfront registration costs and look into waitlist times. Answering each of these questions will help you narrow down and eliminate any that do not work for you right away. From here, you’ll know which schools you’d like to tour. KNOW YOUR CHILD The most important person to consider in this process is your child. They will be the one spending their time at the facility you choose and considering their needs and wants will make your decision that much easier. First, how old is your child? Your child’s age will determine the type of program they will enroll in and will guide your feelings on curriculum as well as determine variations in price. Younger programs for instance, generally charge higher tuitions due to higher costs. For a younger child, superviby Jessica VanDyne 82 HAWAII PARENT NOVEMBER/DECEMBER 2023
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