50 PUNCHMAGAZINE.COM {punchline} calling all dogs If you’ve got quirky habits or a funny tale (or tail) to tell, email hello@punchmonthly.com for a chance to share a page from your Diary of a Dog in PUNCH. Hey there, I’m Riley George and a gift to all. So it’s fitting that my adoptive family brought me home as a birthday surprise. Maryann, her daughter Jayce and son-in-law Matt conspired to bring me home from a breeder in Petaluma for Maryann’s husband, Gary. You can’t imagine his joy when he saw a golden retriever puppy, and I have been his best friend ever since. I especially enjoy helping him in the yard, by chewing the sprinkler heads and burying little presents for him to find later. Sometimes when we are out there, he tries to make me swim in the treacherous waters of the backyard pool. I find all bodies of water riley DIARY OF A DOG scary, but the pool is home to a terrifying monster called “the pool sweep.” I much prefer watching Seinfeld. (I mean, one of the characters is named after me.) My family keeps telling me it’s the other way around, but I’m pretty sure I came first. The other half of my name comes from my tendency to get riled up, but I don’t know what they are talking about. I also love to join my family in bocce and golf by stealing the balls and turning them into much more exciting games of keep away. As a special treat, Gary and I will go visit the retirement home, where I am a celebrity. Everyone knows who I am and absolutely adores me—and who can blame them? As told to KAYA GERSICK photography by ROBB MOST
RkJQdWJsaXNoZXIy MTcxMjMwNg==